cooljeanius’s avatarcooljeanius’s Twitter Archive—№ 5,837

                                                                                                                                                                      1. Watching this: mobile.twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/1100764453484806144?p=v My thread on the Cohen hearing continues from here.
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                                                                                                                                                                      WaPo Cohen hearing pre-show is talking about strategizing how to manage news cycles and all of them are ignoring how Pokémon is dominating the news cycle right now.
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                                                                                                                                                                    Cohen entering the hearing room now
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                                                                                                                                                                  Rep. Cummings calling to order; Mark Meadows immediately pulling shenanigans
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                                                                                                                                                                omg fuck Gym Jordan
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                                                                                                                                                              AaAaAaAaAaA such procedural bullshit
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                                                                                                                                                            This is going to be an #EvergreenTweet throughout this hearing, isn't it: mobile.twitter.com/cooljeanius/status/1100773962450198530?p=v
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                                                                                                                                                          Rep. Cummings' opening statement over now
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                                                                                                                                                        fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan fuck Gym Jordan
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                                                                                                                                                      Michael Cohen's finally giving his opening statement now; he brought receipts!
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                                                                                                                                                    lol Trump had to threaten people to keep his grades hidden? #CohenHearing
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                                                                                                                                                  #CohenTestimony making #TrumpRussia claims explicit now.
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                                                                                                                                                Yes we knew "Individual 1" is Donald Trump but it's still great to hear Michael Cohen say it out loud. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                              "lying around Trump was normalized" #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                            ok Cohen you don't need to defend Melania just to make your testimony against Donald stronger. She's complicit too. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                          so once again everything Trump accuses Democrats of is projection. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                        Cohen thanking Pelosi et al. is mindblowing. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                      Cohen's opening statement over now; time for Rep. Cummings' questions. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                    looking forward to Alan Weisselberg testifying later. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                  Gym Jordan taking the "impugn Cohen's character" tactic now. Like, we get it. Cohen is a scumbag. That doesn't negate his testimony today. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                                lol he's bringing up the "Women For Cohen" account now. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                              eh who cares whether he worked at the White House or not. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                            Finally Gym Jordan is done! Now DWS is up; this should be good. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                          Meh the responses she got were kind of underwhelming. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                        Just because Cohen is the witness who's testifying now doesn't mean he'll be the only one, Rep. Green. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                      Ah fuck I forgot they could yield back; looks like we're not done with Gym Jordan yet after all... #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                    Rep. Maloney up now. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                  looking forward to when David Pecker has to come testify next. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                                like ok we get it. This Republican line of questioning is getting tiresome. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                              Eleanor Holmes-Norton is having a turn to ask questions; reminder that we still need #DCStatehood. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                            uh what is Mark Meadows trying to pull here? #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                          You're not going to win on this "Actually, Trump is NOT a racist" line of argument, Rep. Meadows. #CohenHearing
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                                                                                                        What happened to Rep. Clay's voice? #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                      Republicans still off in conspiracy-land. Good grief. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                    This D. Rep.'s nametag is cut off by the splitscreen; did anyone get it? #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                  Rep. Gosar can't pronounce "pathological" #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                                He seriously going with the "pants on fire" taunt? That's not an adage, it's just a schoolyard jab. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                              hearing is taking a break now. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                            Hearing is back and Republicans are back on their bullshit. Sigh. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                          For some reason I thought Gerry Connolly was someone else but it looks like the main one is this Congressman after all, so nvm. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                        Cohen isn't the one on trial here, Rep. Massie. He's already confessed. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                      Gosh Rep. Massie is such a smug a-hole. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                    .@CongressmanRaja asking about NDAs now; more people need to be following his Twitter account. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                  OK Rep. Cloud we've already been down this path... #CohenTestimony
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                                                                                Rep. Raskin is good on this #TrumpRussia stuff. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                              As someone who also postpones things to the last minute, this line of attack Rep. Meadows is pulling on Cohen's procrastination is only making me feel sympathetic for Cohen. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                            Rep. Amash occasionally stands up to Trump on things, let's see which version of him we get today... #CohenTestimony
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                                                                          The voice Rep. Sarbanes uses is so boring-sounding; he needs to vary his modulation more. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                        Ugh, Rep. Higgins is such a slimeball and idiot. The boxes had ALREADY been seized, stop acting like they're some sort of secret. #CohenTestimony
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                                                                      Rep. Welch is up; New England represent! #CohenTestimony
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                                                                    NH laws are different from NY laws; if he were in NH the recordings would in fact have been illegal (I think), but he wasn't. #CohenTestimony #nhpolitics
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                                                                  Trump is a wifebeater? #CohenTestimony
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                                                                They should call Melania to testify. #CohenTestimony
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                                                              More like Rep. Meryl Killer amirite #CohenTestimony
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                                                            Rep. Kelly getting into the specifics of why the Trump folks did all this chicanery to obscure their payments. #CohenTestimony
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                                                          "But what about attorney-client privilege!" Oh boo hoo, get over yourselves, Republicans. #PearlClutching #CohenTestimony
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                                                        stop talking over one another! #CohenTestimony
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                                                      First time Corey Lewandowski's name has come up during this hearing I think; time for @NH_DOJ to start investigating him? #CohenTestimony #nhpolitics
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                                                    Rep. Steube is frustrating. #CohenTestimony
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                                                  Rep. Lawrence taking shots at Rep. Meadows' "but I have a black friend!" stunt. #CohenTestimony
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                                                Cohen isn't saying the name "Cesar Sayoc" but that's basically who he's talking about. #CohenTestimony
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                                              Shut up, Rep. Roy. #CohenTestimony
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                                            Rep. Plaskett finally getting to unleash all that energy behind her facial expressions! #CohenTestimony
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                                          Phew, another recess, I needed this. #CohenHearing
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                                        Washington Post reporters on the stream comparing their own notes about what Cohen's told them in the past; seems what he's been saying about Prague has changed... #CohenStream
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                                      #sexy was uttered in Congress today
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                                    ok this recess has been going on long enough now; let's bring the hearing back. #CohenHearing
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                                  ...uh... stream just died on me... lemme try again... #CohenHearing
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                                OK so they're FINALLY returning to it now; took them long enough. #CohenHearing
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                              Rep. Meadows give up already. #CohenTestimony
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                            Rep. Khanna calling out Trump's blind trust as not actually being blind. #CohenTestimony
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                          Rep. Khanna sounds ready to impeach already. #CohenTestimony
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                        Rep. Gomez calling out Trump's lies about his tax returns being under "audit" now. #CohenHearing
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                      Rep. Gomez is looking like he's going to subpoena these tax returns! #CohenTestimony
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                    hey while you're entering tweets into the Congressional Record, how about you enter this too: fuck you, Mark Meadows. #CohenHearing
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                  This is my first time actually hearing AOC's voice; it's different than I imagined. #CohenHearing
              1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
                AOC calling out Trump's golf courses being scams, kinda fits in with her similar criticisms of Amazon. #CohenHearing
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              Rep. Pressley speechifying now; get to some questions. #CohenHearing
          1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
            Ah good here she goes; Rep. Pressley is now digging down on the Trump Foundation self-dealing part that everyone kinda forgot about. #CohenTestimony
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          Rep. Tlaib speechifying now; get to some questions. #CohenHearing
      1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
        Disappointing that Rep. Tlaib didn't really ask anything. It's fun how offended she made Mark Meadows though. #CohenHearing
    1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
      darn it this going to end up distracting from all the actual news that came out from this hearing isn't it... #CohenHearing
  1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
    I ask unanimous consent that the Republicans wrap up their submissions of articles already. #CohenHearing
    1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
      Cohen making closing remarks now. #CohenTestimony
      1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
        Whoa, Cohen worrying about peaceful transition of power out loud. #CohenTestimony
        1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
          Rep. Cummings is giving his closing statement now; we should be almost done. #CohenHearing
          1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
            Preach it, Reverend Cummings! #CohenHearing
            1. …in reply to @cooljeanius
              Whoop! Amen! Hearing adjourned! #CohenHearing